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braving your decisions

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You guys, what is it with making a decision?

Simple or complicated, the mind can go a million different ways before landing on the path to go down.


It's one of those routine expectations of life where it get's easier in some situations, but not at all with most.

I for one get in a complete stand still: confused, shaken, doubtful, suddenly lacking the energy to move. Mind you, this could range from deciding which creamer to use in my coffee this morning to where I want to live for forever.


Though there will be a couple of "quick tips" on how to come to a decision faster, this won't really be a "how to" step process guide on what it takes to make a choice, rather how we can remove some of the pressures, and deadlines either we or others place on it.


At times in the process of choosing this verses that, we feel great. Confidence is flowing and there's no doubt in our minds that we made the "right choice". The answer was obvious as if in flashing neon over a wide open door.


Than take the other times - the one's we try to avoid at all cost - where we feel unfit to move ahead with any choice, bearing heavy hands and watered eyes in defeat. It all seems "bleh". How am I supposed to choose between the vague "eh" and gray "hm"?


If only I knew the outcome of my decision making today.


It's nothing new, if that brings any comfort to you at all.

People have always endured plans gone array, decision paralysis and life met with unwanted obstacles.


To get right to it, in past and present, I think the simple yet difficult part to grasp about our decision making is letting go of the "what if's", "should have's" and the narrative that there is only one right choice in a pool of many.


We tend to burden our hearts with the fight between which path is better paved.

How can I make the right decision?

Why is it not clear to me what I should do next?

What is wrong with me?


Here's what's wrong with those self-deprecating questions. There's no way to know what is "best" when we're measuring the determining factor of "good vs. bad" by the experiences that follow our answer.

We haven't walked through them yet.

So when something goes wrong in our life after we moved, separated, changed career paths - whatever else could go wrong - the easy response is to pin the blame on ourselves. To assume we should have known better and therefore haunt ourselves with "what could have been".


Then let's say you begin to wonder whether the choice you made was within "God's will".

I say forget it.

Why?


God is not limited to our decision making process.

His goodness is not measured on the amount of joys or trials we face - no matter the decision we make.

He doesn't walk out if you turned left instead of right.

We may not know what the big ol' blue print looks like, but what should ground us in the movement is that His work does not rely on us like that.

If we want to talk about His will, there's one thing to understand: we will never know until we're in it.

I know, it drives me mad, too.

No way to predict the exact measurements of God's plan.

No way to determine whether He wants you to move here or there until you are where you are and acknowledge He still moves.


Bad things will happen in God's plan, too.


So how can we brave the decisions we've made, or pursue the action of choosing without running frantic?


I think the biggest favor we can do for ourselves when making a decision is to release the pressure that the rest of our live's fall victim to one decision gone wrong.


Yes, there are some choices we make that will influence important aspects of our lives, such as our faith and relationships.

However, when it comes to things like geographical location, career, dog names, what you're going to eat for dinner - those things will not determine your "finish line". They don't hold weight to make you what you're not.


There will always be consequences and benefits with choices we make daily - but when we give them the power to determine where we go, who we are or what we are capable of - we tend to lose our footing on what matters.


How will you know the decision you made was right once you've committed to one?


A peace that can't be explained away falls and heavy hands feel lighter.

The thought of the choice you landed on doesn't fill you with long lasting grief or doubt.


Your direction will not always line up with someone else's - and that's okay.


What she does is not what you need to be doing.

What he did is not your goal.

Keep your eyes in your lane.


No matter which way you go, God moves, and He doesn't move further away from you.


I don't think anyone can promise that you'll feel good about every decision you make, at least right away. But there is a good chance after you accept the choice you made, the narrative of "would've-could've-should've" will not hold the high ground against you.

Screw perfect, let's be brave.


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