I’m just going to say it: when the hobby, career or life style you see yourself having has not, or does not, come naturally or with ease - it's so draining.
But Kimber, only the best things are worth fighting for.
Okay - so let's talk about the importance of consistency when pursuing those things when your circumstances and shifting emotions pull you to do otherwise.
Consider what your passionate about - what's something you feel almost called to do? It doesn't have to be one of those well-known hobbies floating around social platforms or heard over in line at the store.
I'm sure there are days when it can be a struggle to focus on the goals you set for yourself when distractions come in all directions. The fight doesn't always seem strenuous from an outside perspective, but it buries its' roots into our thoughts and perspectives.
How many unspoken conversations have you had with yourself where the one side that says, “just give up, there’s no point in trying this hard” wins. And when you make an inspiring come-back, the voice responds even harsher saying, “if it’s not coming naturally to you, that means it’s not meant to be”.
I don't know it all, yet I’m confident that living by the advice of our inner critic alone is not how we discover our purpose, what gives meaning to the mundane.
That’s not how we'll find fulfillment.
When there's a calling within you so loud, there’s not going to be a simple "off switch".
You can push it down, talk yourself out of it, maybe, causing the slow death of a desire.
Then there’s putting in the hard work to make it happen.
Results of our efforts can't be expected to come overnight, despite what we hope, compare to or are told. We can’t just “Dream Big” like the pillow at the store advises we do.
The intent may be well - and some kind of a starting point to lift us out of the flooded trench doubt placed us in - but what happens if this sentiment is all you consider in the process of getting out of the stuck feeling you're in?
Will you actually write that chapter?
Will you set that appointment?
Will you call the realtor?
Will you follow up with that friend?
This might be the time to share a not-so-secret secret: I’ve stopped writing several times since I started in 2014.
You know the amount of times you thought about food today? Yep, about that many times (and then some)
Yet for reasons I wish could be chalked away, I’m pulled back to the “drawing board”.
It’s not how I pictured it when I published my first blog years ago. It took me a whole 20 minutes - start to finish.
The words will just come to me after this!
I'd say I was naive, but I didn't know what I didn't know, right?
I had convinced myself that my purpose (if in writing) will be known to me if the path continued to be smooth and easy.
No discipline required. No doubting thoughts necessary. I’ll just write and publish without even second-guessing.
If your definition of purpose or meaning or calling is based on the simplicity, you're off course.
Truly, the pursuit for grander things may come easier for some. The work they aspire to do happens to come naturally and/or the resources are made readily available.
Though I’d argue that having a passion to fight for what you want is a gift, as well. To gain perseverance and a resilient mindset required of you to push ahead - beyond the noise and heartache? That's something to aspire to.
Either way, what you’re doing is not at all about how someone else got to where they are.
You have something different, unique and purposeful waiting for you.
Going back to how I thought all writers everywhere simply sit and finish a book in a day:
I acknowledged that pretty lie I desperately wanted to believe as fact wouldn’t get me to where I wanted. There are many people who fight the doubts and circumstances just about every day in order to pursue what they started up in a garage, in line at the coffee shop, or at their child’s school play.
So what does it take? How can we get to where we want to be, to the unstuck continued motion of purpose?
One of the best things we can do is fill our lives with words that will build us up, not down (but not quite like the inspirational quotes on pillows or signs).
On the days where you're in need for some fight songs, gracious rhythms tied up with stories - I would highly encourage you turn to Hannah Brencher’s book Fighting Forward.
It’s that love letter you didn’t know you needed; what we hope to hear in moments of fear, doubt, the mundane or set-backs. In it, she daringly speaks to the depths, and brings light to the dark corners we tend to avoid, but are necessary to acknowledge, in order to truly fight forward and be better for it.This book was the first to make me laugh, gasp, and cry within the first 15 pages (you think I’m kidding).
Among many takeaways in Fighting Forward, the truth’s I hold onto the most are:
1) Consistency (though a tough discipline) is golden and;
2) The “dirt” in our own story can be a lighthouse to others
We never know how our story - though seemingly small and meaningless - can impact someone else in mighty waves. And that is something grander than any "purpose" we discover for ourselves.
There are things in place we can’t possibly know of - and the faith to continue working not just for the “sake of a calling”, but also for those you don’t know who need it.
If you don't know what you're fighting for; if you have a loud inner critic; if you are a human being: these pages are knit with resounding anthems for you.
When you are called to something - especially when it seems “out of your league” (almost like that guy Chad in elementary school?) - see it as confirmation that you’re headed in the right direction.
Rather than seeing it as a definite no (which may happen, just not as often as we are wired to believe), look at it as an “are you ready for it?” welcome sign.
The results may not pour in over night - the “giddy” feelings will probably not settle in for some time. The money may not flow in as quickly as we need it to.
But that’s not the goal we’re chasing. The soul intent is not to satisfy those temporary or fleeting emotions - it’s to follow through and consistently chase after that vision.
I don’t know what you would consider your purpose or calling - maybe you’re not sure yourself (who in their 20's is 100% confident in what they want to do with their life?). Or maybe you do, but the doubts continue to press in while the facts enter in at a whisper.
When you think the door has closed based on the challenges, will you do me a favor? Go for it again - maybe take a different route, this time.
Write it down, set the dates, start the timer.
If you're tired and weary, rest up, friend.
Don’t stop the pursuit when you feel stuck or unqualified - and know that you are undoubtedly capable of the fight ahead.